Most exciting thing to have happened to me this week is my tattoo. First of all... the thing hurt like a motherfucker. Katie held my hand for most of the outlining and then my Extra Brother, Dan, showed up for the shading which happened to be most timely as I needed something sturdier than Katie's tiny hand to cling to. And, yes, I did cry. For the first half of the session, I put on a really brave face; Katie laughed at me because I was trying so hard not to cry and kept saying it wasn't too bad when it wasn't directly on my spine yet she could tell by my face that I wanted nothing more than to cry. When Dan arrived, I gripped his hand so hard that he now has bruises. I can proudly say that I didn't twitch or scream or anything dramatic... just had uncontrollable tears. When I was finished, I was visibly shaking all over. Although, I beg you to keep in mind that I've never had any broken bones, stitches, or any kind of serious physical pain so this was a first.
However, I did think about how awful the pain was and what my tattoo is about anyway. Yeah... I definitely picked one of the more painful parts of my body but the results are pretty damn satisfying. It is to represent what my past is about (my mutt heritage) and what my future is about (making the world my personal playing field). With anything worthwhile, there is always struggle and pain but I know I can get through it as long as I don't give in and that is exceptionally relevant to my previous semester as I've never had such a hard time.
Also the tattoo is not completely colored nor does it actually have the directions written on it. I haven't decided if I even those parts and, similar to many decisions in life, once you made up your mind, you're stuck with the consequences for eternity. I have a lifetime to fill in the gaps and I intend to take plenty of time to come to those decisions. I also realize that I can't do everything by myself no matter how stubborn I may be. I can't imagine sitting in that chair for an hour without Katie or Dan. Even if my friends can't understand completely or actually do anything to make it better, their support was unconditional and greatly appreciated.
My tattoo also looks fucking awesome on me. Yay.
