Today is my birthday. To sum it up in one word: bleh. Couldn't even get a hot shower ((got a freeeeeezing cold one though!)).
However, there is too much saddness in this world to fill up an entry with more bitterness. ((see?? can't you tell I'm forcing myself to smile?!!))
So instead of sorrow and tales of me being despondent, I will fill it up with questions that plague me.
Is it possible to picture yourself doing somethng so much that by sheer will you can achieve it? For example, I see myself attending a private university after high school. This probably sounds realistic for any teen, but, to me, it sounds like such a faraway dream. My rents are not willing to pay ANY money for college for me. If they must, I will have to attend HACC ((a community college)). This is my nightmare of nightmares. I can't possibly imagine having to live under their pressure and control longer than I must. Yet, I might have to do this because I have yet to start a job and I do not even have my permit!!!! ((I turned 17 today and in PA, there is a 6 month wait before you get your license if you are under 18)) So, do you understand the odds of me getting out of here?? 12863125 to 1.
I do not believe in destiny; however, I feel like I'm made for more than just the norm. I do not think that I feel this way simply because I have the most supportive friends imaginable. I just can see myself as doing great things. Not quite saving-the-world type, but close. I guess what I'm attempting to say is that I feel like I've been held back. I feel like I'm ready to burst any day if I don't discover a way to expose what I'm truly capable of doing. I'm sure everyone feels this way once in a while and I still have so many chances ahead to take.... I just regret the chances I've lost.
For laughs, link here
