Sleep does amazing things for me. My point mainly being that I can forget almost anything if you let me sleep. The trick is getting to sleep, being the crazed insomniac that I am. For those who even bother to read this -- my Football Player is official a never-going-to-happen situation. End of story. And I lived unhappily ever after. Case closed.
The most ironic part is that we talked quite frankly about it and we both admit liking each other, but it's just not going to happen. When other people talk about their relationships, thoughts like "If the feeling is mutual, why can't they be together?" float through my head. It seems so simple to solve. Ehh... well... yeah... I understand all too well now.
Our first football game of the season was last Saturday and it wasn't nearly a disaster as I had feared. But I'm so stressed out because I don't have anyone's confidence in my conducting abilities and it's not entirely their fault. We still have so much work to do. One of the biggest problems I have is that I'm not having fun, so I'm uptight and I stand on the podium stressing and double-thinking and messing up. Ugh.
I sleep an average 5 and 1/2 hours a night. I couldn't handle ProbStats with Calculus, so I dropped it. Now, first period is spent in the Life Skills room, which is for the mentally challenged kids. I work with the two girls with Down's Syndrome: Adriana and Jessica. It's nice because I'm in something completely different from my normal school-year routine. I need them.
I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands.
