Day one as a senior and I was miserable throughout the entire day. Well, it started off badly because I was totally dissed in the most innocent fashion. Because I can't rightly be angry, but can't help but feel offended, I was bitter throughout the entire day. The most pathetic part was that I was dripping bitterness and it was obvious. I just felt completely isolated from everything around me.
My first study hall since sophmore year was filled with underclassmen and a few preppy jocks. I could hear their excited sport-related banter all around me as I sat hunched in a ball of wretchedness. No one to talk to or even relate to. I just sat there feeling sorry for myself and unable to even glance at my Calculus homework.
I remember that last year was empty but quickly turned into panic at the amount of work demanded from me. How am I going to be able to push all these anxieties from my mind and be able to conduct Wednesday for Marching Band rehearsal? I need to control my emotions, but the isolation is overwhelming and it's so easy to be in my own self-pity-filled world.
:: long sigh ::
