Uuuuuuuuugh. Misery, misery, misery. It's not fair! I hate sounding like a whiny 14-year-old, but I feel like such an oddball. Yeah, I see Football Player, but it's always when he's with another girl. Why didn't I take that into consideration? Duh, he's good-looking, and, duh, he's funny, so, duh, he's in the habit of being a flirt. Thus, I'm returning to my old, insanely-jealous, junior-high ways of "If he's flirting obviously in front of me... I'm going to be 10 times as flirtatious." My Old Crush still flirts like mad with me and it's so easy for me to appear like I'm interested in him. My behavior is hideous and I feel hideous.
But I can't help it. It's what I do when I get hurt like that. I don't announce it to the world ((just diaryland, evidently)) and make 5 million miserable with me. I act like the person who insulted me and do it to degrees. But it's not only the Football Player. It's my friends who have these seemingly perfect relationships who always put me in the Third Wheel position. I know they don't have perfect relationships, but they can at least manage keeping something longer than 2 weeks.
176 days until Graduation.
