My latest entry was a rant. It was not meant to be a cry for help or pity or any such nonsense. Although, it is nice to be comforted, but I was in the state that could not be comforted. To be honest, I still can not be comforted until life becomes a little less hectic (or I get a good drink).
I'm off subject.
My point of writing this is because I don't want to be comforted. How else to say it? Anything you say to me will ring false in my ears. How can you tell me that everything will turn out right when, in your blessed life, you know where you are going to be in three months? You can't, because you know no other situation. So save your bullshit for someone else. I don't want to hear it.
This sounds mighty stubborn, but I can't feel any other way. I don't want to be told a million comforting words. I want to be alone. I want to forget there are obligations everywhere. I want to sleep my way through life. I want to cry and punch holes into walls.
The chance of any of the above occurring? Non-existant. Just like my chances to going to Dickinson. Just like my chances to ever becoming the good friend I'd like to be. Just like my chances for making my parents proud. Just like my chances for being the girlfriend Dwight deserves. Just like my chances for being anyone other than the selfish, untalented girl that I am.
Please pretend you never read this.
