I have discovered the place of my recent cold feet about Dwight and me. We have been dating for over three months now and not once have we had a disagreement of any sort. Even when there was slight drama between his mother and us, we were never angry towards each other. My mind could not comprehend its own luck. I've decided that there is a reason for such peaceful times. Because, it will not always be romance and sunshine. In less than a year, I will be across the river and attending college. That will be our real challenge. Surviving that kind of distance. It may not sound like a real challenge... but you must realize that Dwight and I see each other every day and have after school activities in which we both participate.
I'm positive that we will survive the challenge... but I wonder how much pain am I going to be going through? Good lord! I get upset if I don't see his jacket in our locker in the morning. Well... not quite upset, more like disappointed. But that lasts about three seconds, because he's always there [wearing his jacket, of course].
Sometimes, I want to live the cliche. I want a high-school sweetheart who I end up marrying. I want a guy who likes to hold my hand and write me poetry and love notes. I want a guy who doesn't mind talking to me until ungodly hours at night.
And other times [like these past two weeks], I don't want it at all. I almost puke at his corny sentimentalities. Sometimes, I wish he didn't put his arm around me and make it so obvious we're a couple. And, suddenly, we're relaxing on my couch and I feel my heart begin to ache. I can't imagine having more fun with any other guy. I can't imagine wanting to wake up next to a different face. I can't imagine laughing over any one else's antics.
You're my shooting star.
